​This fourth evening proved to be a very lively one! We discussed the importance and dangers of the words we speak – the things we have said that have hurt others and those things we haven’t said that could have encouraged others. We also recognised that what we say may not be received in the way we intended – that the attitudes, emotions and past experience of the person we are speaking to affects how they perceive what we say.
The bible warns us of our use of blasphemy, swearing and obscene talk. We discussed how that affects our attitudes and actions.
In the film we saw the affect that words have on the main characters – not just what is said but how it is said and we reflected individually on the past week and how we had encouraged or discouraged others with what we had said or not said and how our words had been received.
I shared my mantra – remembered from a sermon long, long ago
Before you speak, stop and think: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?!”

Last week we thought about struggles and successes; times and skills which we have found hard to acquire and what has helped or discouraged us. We acknowledged the need for perseverance but saw in the film how Bertie – and ourselves – need something more. Bertie worked hard at the “technical tools” that he needed to overcome his stammer but Lionel always knew it needed more. It came after the death of his father King George V. When Bertie visited Lionel he unleashed all his childhood pain and it was a breakthrough moment for Bertie.
We then reflected on the bible message that God will work with and indeed through our weaknesses and how being vulnerable and exposed makes us feel. At the end of the session we silently considered the pain that often lies deep and long buried inside ourselves.

Following our initial discussions on fear and the way that it limits what we achieve, we went on last week to discuss “calling”. We considered what defines a calling and whether we ourselves had ever felt a “calling” or vocation.
We were all heartened to read the words of Francis de Sale, a French seventeenth century Bishop who wrote:
“God requires the faithful fulfilment of the merest trifle given us to do, rather than the most ardent aspiration to things to which we are not called.”
This week on 22nd March we will meet as usual at the Church Room at 7.30 pm. 

Lent Group; Wednesday evenings in High Legh
“Finding a Voice” based on the film The King’s Speech
We began the evening by looking at the start of the film as Bertie (later to be King Edward VIIIth) tries to overcome his fear and stammer to address the crowd at Wembley.
We then identified the fears inside Bertie and related them to our own fears especially our social fears. In pairs we discussed how our fears sometimes prevent us attempting things because we fear not living up to the expectations of others.
We then watched Bertie several years later when, as King, he makes his first wartime address to the nation. We thought about those who supported Bertie and those who support and encourage us to overcome our fears and anxieties.
In the reading provided for the days following the session we were urged to find “supporting actor” roles for ourselves as we support and encourage those whom we meet in life.
​

At this session we discussed how being sorry, repenting and asking for forgiveness is connected to  healing and restoration. Some of the points made were as follows:
 

• Forgiveness is the link between being sorry and healing.
• The quality of the “sorry” is relevant and needs to be genuine for healing to take place.
• It is easy to say sorry but actions speak louder than words.

 
Sometimes it is difficult to decide who is in the right and there may be occasions when we say sorry for the sake of restoring relationships when we know that the fault is not predominantly ours.
True forgiveness means letting go of the hurt and not retelling others of one’s hurt.
Sometimes one can be sorry for an action because it upsets someone close to us but we know that the action is for the good of that person.
 
“Love means never having to say sorry” (quote from the film, “Love Story”) - if we love someone we won’t upset them in an ideal world, so would not have a reason to say sorry.   If you have to keep saying sorry it becomes meaningless. When an apology is accepted there is a huge sense of relief, a weight is lifted off your shoulders. It is always good to learn from your mistakes.
 
The point was also made that when people do not forgive someone and dwell on the hurt they feel it can have a significant effect on their psyche and their physical health with conditions such as headaches, depression and insomnia being more prevalent.
 
Margaret then used the toothpaste demonstration to show how words are like toothpaste.  Used correctly toothpaste keeps our mouths clean and healthy – like words to encourage, cheer someone up, helpful positive words that bring joy to others.  Sometimes we become sloppy and the toothpaste comes out and sticks around the cap.  Often comments such as moaning, complaining and being negative ends with bad moods and hurt feelings.  If you squeeze the paste hard a mess goes everywhere.  We can’t take back what comes out.  You can’t take your words back, just like
you can’t put the paste back into the tube.                                                                                                                           
 
As we read in Ephesians 4:31-32,  “Put away all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you”.
 
We are asked to forgive others as our Lord unconditionally forgives us and in so doing we can help to restore relationships, receive healing and enjoy greater mental and physical wellbeing.